The Disney princesses that it is.
On a daily basis, I am literally surrounded by Disney. And nowadays Disney means princesses.
We have two young kids, and kids love Disney. Movies, TV shows, toys.
We have the passes since we live in Southern California, and go to Disneyland a few times a year, especially for each of their birthdays. My son love Cars, my daughter loves all the princesses.
I’m no animephile, but some of those princesses are HOT. Cinderella is so pretty and clean, a diamond in the rough. Snow White is self admittedly pure as the driven snow. How hot is THAT!? Sleeping Beauty spends most of her time on her back. Mulan is for the Asian persuasion, Pocahontas for the natural lovers. Ariel, the Little Mermaid wears not much more than a fishtail and a shell bra.
My daughter has all the princess dolls and costumes.
One of the princess dolls definitely stands out as the hoochiest. Jasmine from Alladdin. She’s olive skinned. She’s got a crop top and genie pants. She’s got abs and obliques and a belly button. She’s the only princess doll wearing a thong. She has to though because her genie pants are see through. Too bad the slave girl outfit from the movie wasn’t an accessory. Who can blame Aladdin and Jaffar for wanting to ride that carpet? I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes?
Oddly enough, the Jasmine doll always winds up laying nude next to the Prince Eric doll from Little Mermaid. He’s always nude too. Pisses the other princesses off, especially Ariel. All poor Eric has is a little bulge. I guess Jasmine is getting whatever she can. When she can.
Every time we go to Disney, I wonder what the poor girls who play the princess characters have to put up with? How many pictures do they have to take with creepy Dads? Do their boyfriends make them sneak the costumes home now and again?
I’ve seen ads for “Princess Characters” to come to your party. They’re not the Disney princesses, but close enough. They just can’t infringe the Disney trademarks. I wonder how many bachelor parties try to get them, or how many birthday parties they go to like “Bobby’s” where Bobby is the only one there, he’s 40 and live in his Mom’s basement.
Where are the moms of these princesses? Think about it. Disney doesn’t like moms. Not just the princess movies, but also all the Disney movies. The moms are usually dead, die, are weak, or go crazy. That doesn’t even mention the bad step moms, like Cinderella and Snow White’s.
The moms that are around are weak. Lion King’s mom shacked up with her husband’s brother after he died. Dumbo’s mom went apeshit and got locked up. Sleeping Beauty’s mom gave her away.
If a mom is there and isn’t crazy, you know she’s going to get whacked. Sometimes we get attached and she gets take down like Bambi’s mom. Sometimes we think we’ll get attached and she’s ripped away, like Nemo’s mom. She seemed cool, but…
I’m telling you, Disney hates moms, but loves hoochie princesses.
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