This is the controversial ten year high school reunion piece. My Mom read it and thought I needed help. I didn't enjoy high school. My best friend and I drunk crashed our 10 year reunion, and I was so worked up I think I had a panic attack. A friend's girlfriend (thanks Liz) had to walk me in and out. Why? I don't know...
Anyway, it's tongue in cheek everyone. It's not a threat, it didn't happen, it's not going to happen.
Maybe it's a commentary on people that DO shoot up things. There's something fundamentally WRONG with these people. They don't belong in society. Those Columbine kids didn't do it because of video games and Marilyn Manson. They were whacked. Getting bullied all the time doesn't cause you to shoot up your school unless there's much MORE or less going on in your pea-brain.
I mean, look how I turned out!
And I know the secret. This was originally written more than 10 years ago. Since, the 20 year reunion has come and gone. I didn't go or even try to crash it. I saw pictures though. At least I could still recognize people at the 10 year reunion. The years have not been friendly.
Here's a picture...a 10 year high school reunion. Everyone's dressed up like it's prom night again. At the 10 year level, you're in your late 20's so still look OK. You KNOW you're going to look like shit at the 20 year, so this is your night to shine.
You were the prom king in high school, now you've come out of the closet. Work it sister. You two girls couldn't get a date to save your lives. You still are BFFs 10 years later, but you've put thousands into your bods, and now you're escorts.
Then there's the editor of the school newspaper, who is just a bitter sad drunk. That's me, BTW.
What would happen if the lilting laughter and clinking of glasses was shattered by screams and gunshots? The shooter hears the sirens and helicopters, see the blue and red lights splashing across the pool, bad landscaping, buffet and the panther ice sculpture. The former football captain lies slumped over the previously open bar.
The creeping SWAT team moving towards the hotel ballroom doesn't sway him from his systematic mission. The extermination of the 10 year later high school elite. He's the Hitler of high school popularity, with a final solution for student government, advanced placement...and sports. Eliminating all they stood for, what they've become, and the sadness and cliquerly they're trying to recall. Look, I made up a word.
He sits and sips a drink, maybe whiskey. His shirt is wrinkled because he didn't plan ahead as much as the others did, and it was the only thing clean. He sees the little red laser dots moving around on his body and knows the bay window will explode as the SWAT shooter gets a "go."
They all looked so happy. It almost was like prom night, except by now most of the girls had lost their virginity.
So many bad memories flooded back. Feelings of inadaquecy (and bad spelling) thought lost long ago, brought back by the Vietnamesque flashback that is the 10 year reunion.
I know what you're thinking. "What did he even GO if he hated it so much?" Well, because I could, and morbid curiosity. And it was like 5 minutes from my apartment. I had this fantasy that the hot girls from high school would run up and remember me.
And not defriend me on Facebook.
They actually talked to me much less at the reunion than in high school, not at all. In school they needed to talk to me to get the answers. I guess now they thought they had all the answers.
My Mom told me the high school years would be the best years of life. Nope. That turned out to be college.
What do I remember about high school? The girls, individuals (not people), music, school newspaper, homework, IB tests. Shyness. The bus. Not going to one dance, party or football game.
What do I remember about the reunion? Avoiding eye contact, big hair. My big high school crush walking right by me. The escort girls, the guys that came out. Why didn't I swindle free drinks? I'd made it that far already...maybe I just had to get out of there.
I had much more fun drinking at the bar afterwards. Sort of like psychology class afer lunch senior year. That wasn't Mountain Dew.
If you are tempted to go to your reunion, at least get some free drinks.
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