My Video Store is Gone, What Do I Do Now?

Originally posted on the Tree.com Arts Channel

So a couple of weeks ago I hopped in the car and drove over to the video store to rent a movie. I pulled up and there were three giant construction site dumpsters in front of the local video store, and workers were carrying out the racks that the DVDs had been on. The store was a shell. It was gone. I don’t know what happened, but I do know we had to find a new place to rent videos.

We’re already set up with Netflix via the Wii, and have our On-Demand selections. But, the reality of not being able to go to the video store really hit home with me. My first cool teenage job was working in a video store at the height of the VHS craze. This was the ea if the neighborhood Mom and Pop, video store. Then the big chain video stores like Blockbuster and Hollywood Video came along and killed a lot of the smaller stores.

Netflix has been around for a few years and is a fantastic model. You sign up for an account, and you can get a certain amount of DVDs for as long as you want. No late fees! This alone may have been the biggest death knell for Blockbuster! More recently, Netflix added streaming options. You can watch movies on your computer, mobile device or through your TV using your Wii, Playstation 2, XBOX 360 or computer. Netflix is trying to move away from the DVD via the mail model that made them famous, and trying to go more and more streaming.

Visiting Redbox is kind of like going to the video store if your video was a red phone booth. You can reserve a movie via the Redbox website, choose a location for pickup, and then rent your DVD from one of the handy kiosks. Basically swipe a credit card, and enter your email address and you can grab your movie and go! Redbox is going to offer streaming services starting some time in 2011

Cable providers supply many movie options, depending on the package you have. There’s always some movie on TV somewhere. Premium cable channels like HBO, Showtime, and Starz all offer on demand selections a well. Gone are the days when you’re stuck with whatever movie is being shown in a certain time slot on a premium channel. You can now go to the on-demand premium channel and choose from just about any of the films, special programs or series that are running on that channel that particular month.

Most cable providers now off their own on-demand programming options as well. Most of the major networks and cable stations offer popular programs on-demand soon after their premieres, most often for free. You’ll also find a variety of newly released films and other titles for a fee.

Click on over to TV.com to…well, watch TV online. Here you can watch popular TV series, talk with fans, and get news on your favorite shows. You can watch shows and videos for free, but if you register, you participate in a points system. Activity on the site gains you points, and the more points you have, the more recognition you get in the TV.com community.

Hulu offers some of the top TV shows, movies and videos. With Hulu Plus, you can stream the site content on your TV, mobile device, or computer. Mobile phone support is continuing to evolve, with the iphone fully integrated, and Droid compatibility coming soon.

iTunes offers streaming content as well, including the most current releases available. Apple TV is a related service that offers HD movies, Netflix integration, MLB and MBA games, as well as iPhone, iPad, and iPod integration.

So there are many options out there, once your local video store goes away. You just need to find an option that works for you. Consider how you want to view the content. If you only want to view content on your TV, look into Netflix, Redbox and your cable providers. If you’re a little more flexible or specifically want to see movies and TV shows on your computer or mobile device, again look at Netflix, but also don’t forget TV.com, Hulu, iTunes and even Apple TV.

I’ll be streaming, but still looking for a nice neighborhood video store.

Why I Laugh At Boobies

I was exposed to horror movies at a very young age, and it’s had a lasting effect. Seeing the Jaws 2 at 6, Jaws soon after, the Exorcist at 10, and Psycho at 11 changed my life.

I cannot go in the ocean today and not think about Jaws.

I cannot get in the shower and not think about being attacked by a nut job dressed as his mother, with a knife.

My parents took me to see Jaws 2 while we were on summer vacation at the Jersey Shore. This was before Snookie and the Situation were even BORN. In all their wisdom, they thought it would be a fun movie for a little kid to see, in the theater, while staying at the beach. “Have fun in the water tomorrow son!”

Soon after, at my aunt’s house, on something new called “HBO” I saw Jaws. I was warned it was going to be scary and asked if I could handle it. What was I going to say? I was good until fisherman Ben’s head pops out of the bottom of the boat with the eye protruding. Scared the Hell out of me. I was then decided I couldn’t handle the rest of the movie so I was sent to bed. Alone. Show a kid a movie, scare the Hell out of him, and then punish him.

Exorcist was actually part of a movie marathon. One of those all day/all night BBQs where the parents eat and drink and the kids hang out. Our neighbors had this new thing called a VCR. Played movies on tapes. We started with The Howling, then Alien, then King Kong 77. That’s a lot of movies. Then the moms showed up and wanted to know what we were watching. Then suggested we all watch Exorcist. Told us it was scary, asked if we could handle it. What were we going to say? Still the scariest movie ever. That night after we went home was probably the longest night of my life. Everything was the devil or that possessed chick coming to take me away.

The 80s horror movie explosion coupled with movie channels on cable TV was a boon for the corruption of my innocence and my desensitization to sex and violence. Halloween movies, Friday the 13th movies, Nightmare on Elm Street movies, as well as any number of formulaic knock-offs with a killer and teen sex.

My mom held the VCR remote, and controlled the universe. Whenever there was a particularly gory killing, she’d utilize the remote to relive, reexamine, and review. As VCRs and remote functions improved, so did our examination of the slasher killings. Mom was the queen of the remote, and could capture details with pause, rewind, and slow mo, that the best CSI labs couldn’t get.

We would watch every killing in gruesome detail, over and over. However, when the inevitable sex scene or boob shot came along, my mother would frown and make me cover my eyes. Funny thing was, I was cool with the scenes, and it was my Mom with the issues.

My Dad hated horror movies. On movie nights when we were going to watch one, he’d get up, mumble something like “enjoy your crap” and wonder off to bed. Of course, it could be 5 minutes, or 50 minutes later, and he sex or nudity could only last for 5 seconds. That was the time he’d come stumbling out for a glass of water, or to the bathroom. He’d stare at the TV and groan “what the Hell are you watching!?”

To this day when I watch a movie with my Mom, she still tells me to cover my eyes if there’s nudity or sex. I tell her I’ve actually seen real boobies up close. Of course now, I might be more uncomfortable seeing this stuff with my Mom than when I was a kid. I was watching a horror movie with my father-in-law a couple of years ago, and a fairly graphic sex scene came on. I told him “sorry, I had no idea…” He said, “It’s OK, I like boobies!”

So I suppose in some way, all this has desensitized me to violence on TV and in movies. Nothing really fazes me, not even the news. Now that I have kids and dogs, sometimes violence towards kids and animals bothers me. Even if the kids or animals are evil.

I can’t watch breaking bones or dislocating limbs, real or fake. That DOES bother me. I’ve never seen the Joe Theisman broken leg clip all the way through. Probably because I’ve dislocated my knees so many times, so I can empathize a little more.

Nevertheless, I still giggle when I see onscreen boobies. Plus, I still call them “boobies.”