Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I Never Met a Bigfoot Docudrama I Didn’t Like


The earliest movie I can remember really scaring me was a 70s documentary called “The Legend of Bigfoot.” I was 5 or 6 years old, and oddly enough, someone took me to see it in a movie theatre. The impression this film had on me has lasted to this day. I would say I have a mini-obsession with Bigfoot on film.

What stood out to me was that there was this creature in the woods that watched. We could be playing in some forest meadow, and he’s watching. Perhaps we’re on our Boy Scout trip, and he’s there watching. Maybe we’re hiking down a piney path and he’s there watching. “The Legend of Bigfoot” featured this creepy flute music that for some reason terrified me. I recently found this move on Netflix and watched it, and the music still gives me the chills.

What “Jaws” did to me for the ocean, and “Psycho” did to me for showers, “The Legend of Bigfoot” did to me for forests. Ever since seeing that movie, forests have creeped me out. I can drive by a stretch of woods to this day, and wonder if a Bigfoot is there, just within the line of trees, watching. When I was a Boy Scout, on many a camping trip, I would nervously look into the woods for any sign of Bigfoot watching. The few times I’ve stayed in cabins, I would peer out the windows towards the woods, looking for Bigfoot watching. Oddly enough, I’d feel better if I couldn’t see the line of trees. If I zipped the tent, or closed the blinds, I felt better. Strange, considering my near-encyclopedic knowledge of Bigfoot’s propensity to attack at any moment, rip apart tents, or attack cabins in packs of his Bigfoot friends with boulders.

There was more than one 70s Bigfoot film, and they all had many common elements: Strange music, the skeptical narrator who became a believer after his chance encounter in the woods with the creature, the reenactments of all the old Bigfoot legends, the cute animals playing in the woods scene (possible stock footage from Disney nature movies), despite the presence of the missing link, and last but not least, the expedition to find some evidence that proves the existence of Bigfoot once and for all, which comes so close yet so far from doing so.

Several years after I saw  “The Legend of Bigfoot,” another Bigfoot docudrama reached the theaters. “Sasquatch” was largely the same storyline, and may actually be the same movie. I think the skeptical narrator and the music were different though. This one has the distinction of ruining a Super Bowl for my father. He had promised to take me to see “Sasquatch,” despite his beloved Denver Broncos’ Super Bowl appearance. Unfortunately for him, we didn’t have a VCR then. Being a man of his word, he took me to see the Bigfoot movie.

No discussion of 70s Bigfoot docudramas is complete without a mention of perhaps the Holy Grail of the genre, “The Legend of Boggy Creek,” which is about the Fouke Monster, the legendary creature living in the swampy border lands of Florida and Arkansas. This gem features all the common elements, but is a little more twisted. The narrator isn’t so skeptical, and the Bigfoot here is a monster. He doesn’t just attack when provoked, he attacks regularly...and smells bad. By the way, go to Google and type in “Fouke.” See how “Fouke Monster” comes up right after “Fouke Arkansas?”

I’ll watch any of the many Bigfoot documentaries on the Discovery, Wildlife, or Travel Channel. At this point, I can turn down the sound and narrate each of them myself. But they’re all a bit science-y for me. They’ve taken the drama out! Where’s the showmanship? Despite all our scientific advances, we can’t come to a consensus. Evidence is inconclusive. No human in a costume could move like that…that fecal matter and those hair samples are not animal…OR human…

Bigfoot is still elusive to this day. Despite the fact that we’ve got high-def video cameras in our phones now, we’re still not able to capture a steady non-blurry shot of Bigfoot in his natural habitat.

In the 70s, we’d be convinced by that chance encounter. 

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